{"id":48129,"date":"2021-06-24T03:50:19","date_gmt":"2021-06-24T10:50:19","guid":{"rendered":"\/us\/en\/blog\/?p=48129"},"modified":"2025-03-13T06:39:37","modified_gmt":"2025-03-13T13:39:37","slug":"rcause-conversation-choose-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/us\/en\/blog\/rcause-conversation-choose-love\/","title":{"rendered":"RCause in conversation: choose love"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"heading h2\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For parents of transgender kids, love is all you need.<\/span><\/i><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Highlights:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are about 1.4 million transgender adults in the United States<\/span><\/i><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emerging science embraces a &#8220;gender-affirming&#8221; approach toward transgender kids<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is no rulebook for raising a transgender child. But every day, we learn more about what transgender children need to grow up safe and healthy. And thankfully, policies and attitudes are changing to better support transgender kids. A child\u2019s transition can be challenging,\u00a0 but having support from relatives, friends and community members can go a long way to reduce the anxiety, fear and worry families face. For this edition of RCause in Conversation, we spoke with two parents of transgender children to discuss the challenges and rewards of their individual journeys. You can watch the interview <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/DxoAfl-WdCk\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">here<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or read on for highlights.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-48133 aligncenter\" src=\"\/us\/en\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/1315733372938.gif\" alt=\"RCause, a RingCentral Initiative\" width=\"486\" height=\"273\" \/><\/p>\n<p><b>Liz Pedro,<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Head of Customer Advocacy, RingCentral<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Deshanna Neal,<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Founder\/Executive Director, Intersections of Pride Foundation and a founding member of HRC\u2019s Parents for Transgender Equality National Council.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"heading h3\"><b>Tell us about your journey so far.<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>Liz Pedro (LP):<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cI\u2019m raising three beautiful, Native American children, one of whom is transgender\u2026it\u2019s not easy. My child attempted suicide twice due to gender dysphoria* Once he turned 18, my child became Scotty Oliver Snow. I read, I asked questions, I prayed, and I finally realized &#8211; the most important thing I could do was offer support.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">*Discomfort or distress caused by a discrepancy between a person\u2019s gender identity and their sex assigned at birth.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>DeShanna Neal (DN):<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cI have four kids, two of whom are transgender daughters. One of my kids transitioned in the early 2000s at 4 years old\u2014the state of Delaware\u2019s first documented transgender youth. (Raising a transgender child) is still a tough process today, but back then? There were <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">no<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> resources for raising trans kids. My other child came out as trans on Christmas Eve of 2019 &#8211; she had no idea her older sister was also transgender.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"heading h3\"><b>What are the biggest challenges you face?\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>LP: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOne big loss was feeling like I lost a daughter. I\u2019ve experienced 3 miscarriages and only had two boys, my husband wanted to keep trying for a girl. Now I\u2019m just happy I\u2019ve gained a son. But it\u2019s never easy \u2013 I was told by a family member they thought my child should be checked into the psychiatric ward, simply because he came out as transgender.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>DN: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen you don\u2019t have society\u2019s support, it\u2019s hard to carve out a place for yourself. Trying to ensure my child had the basic right of education has been a full-time job, and an unpaid one. Being black and queer myself, I already knew the lack of support\/safety. I decided early on that if I ever had kids, I would never be the first bully they encounter.\u201c<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"heading h3\"><b>Tell us about the rewards of parenting a transgender child<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>DN:\u00a0 \u201c<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trinity\u2019s one of my best friends, and she trusts me beyond a lot of even her own girlfriends. I love seeing how she\u2019s so filled with love. My favorite quote of hers is \u201cIt costs $0 to become a decent person.\u201d Everyone who meets her is inspired by her, and by our story. Now we\u2019ve co-authored a book with Penguin, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.penguinrandomhouse.com\/books\/608313\/my-rainbow-by-deshanna-and-trinity-neal-illustrated-by-art-twink\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My Rainbow<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.&#8221;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"heading h3\"><b>How do you deal with non-allies?\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>LP:\u00a0 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s really rare and really hard to change someone\u2019s mind. What I <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">can<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> do is put love, kindness and acceptance out into the world. It\u2019s what works at home, and it\u2019s the best way I\u2019ve found to deal with conflict outside the home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>DN:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cI founded Intersections of Pride to capture, recognize, and celebrate the wholeness of our identities. The more we\u2019re able to do that, the less of an issue gender identity can become. At least that\u2019s the hope.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"heading h3\"><b>On the challenges trans kids face.<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>LP: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIn 2018, there was a study that showed 30% of trans girls and over 50% of trans boys have thought about committing suicide. That number only increases with specifically Hispanic and Native American youth. It\u2019s so important to be supportive of your kids; to make the choice to build them up, not break them down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>DN:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cEvery time a trans person is killed or dies by suicide, the community loses a mentor &#8211; a person who could have made another transgender person\u2019s journey a little easier. That\u2019s why my promise to my kids is to not only be supportive, but to be <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">safe<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s important to recognize the difference there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"heading h3\"><b>What else should we know?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><b>DN: \u201c<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People ask me what the difference is between raising a transgender child vs. a cisgender child: for me, there isn\u2019t one, at least at home. Raising my cis kids is the same as my trans kids. Out in the world, however, I\u2019m constantly fighting to make sure the world knows\u2014my daughter exists and deserves dignity and respect.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>LP: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOur experiences are our own, and I really want to make it clear \u2014 there\u2019s no way either one of us could speak for the whole trans community, or their parents. But what we\u2019ve found is, unconditional love has a lot of layers &#8211; including quite a few you never thought you\u2019d encounter. The harder we love our kids, the better their lives &#8211; and ours &#8211; become.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Growing up transgender can be difficult. By supporting families, sharing the facts and practicing gender-affirmative attitudes with all children, each of us can make life a little easier for these beautiful kids, and make the world just a little brighter along the way. #RCPride<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep up with RCause in Conversation on the Youtube page <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/DxoAfl-WdCk\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">here<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For parents of transgender kids, love is all you need. Highlights: There are about 1.4 million transgender adults in the United States Emerging science embraces a &#8220;gender-affirming&#8221; approach toward transgender kids There is no rulebook for raising a transgender child. But every day, we learn more about what transgender children need to grow up safe &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":29,"featured_media":48137,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18885],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ringcentral-newsdesk"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v19.3 (Yoast SEO v27.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>RCause in conversation: choose love | RingCentral Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For parents of transgender kids, love is all you need. 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